Choices on Weight and Health

About Us
What I am about to write next will totally amaze many of you that do have a devastating weight problem. It's the most frustrating part of my life through the years and that is controlling my mouth. Not what I say, but what I eat. Can you imagine gaining in an excess of one hundred (100) pounds in less than a year? If you wanted to describe me in one word,

NO..NO I don't have a sweet tooth
I have a mouth full of sweet teeth!!

the history of a Dieter. A life of riding the diet train, I can't remember all the diets I have tried, weight watchers, protein diets, two operations, and here I am, obese again. If you had seen me 3 years ago and then now, amazing would probably be in the vocabulary. Through the years it's been such a struggle, a losing battle it seems. The last operation, the doctor said you will never have to diet again, well he lied, or should I say he was mistaken. Just over 3 years ago I was in tiptop shape awarded the fastest bicycle rider in Danville and South Boston by fellow riders, to now ashamed to run across one of them. I have heard the stories of me as a baby, home after birth, consuming twice that of the normal feedings for a new born. And the story is told that was the only way they could get me to stop crying, is feed me. So I guess food, is my life in a big part, that is the wrong foods. Sweets, my downfall, never enough, never too much. If I have a bag of candy, Ice Cream, Cake, or cookies around the house, it worries me to death until it's finished. NO..NO I don't have a sweet tooth……It's a whole mouth full of sweet teeth.!!

The second operation to control my weight was in March of 1999. It is called the Mini Gastric Bypass. The doctor performs this laproscopically, rather than making a large incision. 6 small incisions are made and miniature instruments and camera used. The stomach is then divided, completely cut into and stapled, giving you two stomachs.

The small part of the stomach is the size of a cigar and that is the part still attached to the esophagus. Then about 6 feet from the stomach the intestine is cut and the new stomach is inserted and stapled together. The remaining old stomach is still in tact and what you have now is loop bypassing 6 feet of the intestine with the gastric juices from the old stomach to help digest food. After the surgery, a one-night stay in the hospital, I was released to come home. My Uncle & Aunt had carried me to the hospital in Durham; NC spent the night and was my transportation back home. Of course other relatives were there also. After the hour-45 minute ride back home I was not feeling to well, I thought, it's just the long ride. Walking up my driveway I felt a little weak and the next thing I knew they are trying to get me up out of the shrubbery. I had passed out, first time in my life. They get me in the garage and I pass out again. Finally they got me in the den and into the recliner and I was able to rest for several hours.

My brother is spending the night and with his help I make it upstairs to my bedroom. I rest well that night and feel rather well the next morning. I take a bath, work on the computer for a while, and then go down to the den to watch a little television. All of a sudden I have these sharp pains in my stomach and side and my brother helps me back to bed. About an hour passes and I have to use the bathroom. I get in the doorway to the bathroom and lights out again. The thing was I had no idea it was about to happen BOOM, out again. My brother hears me fall and when I come to, he says don't move I'm going to get help to get you back in bed.

" had something terribly gone wrong and I was dying?!

By this time my daughter and her husband, my sister, and aunt have arrived. MY brother is on the phone trying to reach the doctor and my daughter is on the computer emailing. My daughter gets the first response from the doctor by email; he says to get me to the hospital in Durham ASAP. They get my clothes packed and I'm laying on the bed joking with my son-in-law and brother, really not feeling to bad. We are ready to leave for the hospital and I sit up on the edge of the bed. Boom. I'm gone again. They said my eyes just rolled back and just passed out like before with out having a clue what was about to happen. When I come to, now this really gets scary, I cannot see, talk, or move, I can hear and that's it. The Life Saving Crew is called, and they arrive in minutes. I'm conscious now, but can only hear. The crew cannot get me out of the bedroom on a stretcher; the turn is to tight entering the hall. During this time my aunt has gone out side, tears flowing, screaming to my neighbor, he's dying. They put me in a chair and work me through the door, and then finally get me on the stretcher. The crew gives me oxygen and by the time they get me in the ambulance I can see again.

That was definitely scary and I did think in my mind something had terribly gone wrong and I was dying.

When I get back to the hospital in Durham, NC, the doctor runs some test and finds my blood is extremely low. He tells me I bleed more in surgery that most and he feels the initial fall from passing out started the bleeding again and I have also become dehydrated. Being the hard head I am I choose not to take any blood at the time and so the doctor gives the order to pump me full of fluids this stay in the hospital is three days.

When I decided to have the surgery, I just knew I wouldn’t have any problems, but low and behold I am back in the hospital in less than a week. This time I had started throwing up and all night long, which was extremely dangerous because of the small amount of liquids and no food for several weeks after the surgery. 2 ounces of Ensure every hour was the only thing I was consuming. So this time the doctor convinces me to take 2 units

" Two weight-loss surgeries and still gaining weight"!

Of blood and pumps me up with fluids once again. Three days in the hospital and back home with just an occasional problem of throwing up.

For about a year I was doing fairly well after the surgery, and had lost around a hundred pounds. But then it happened I ate a candy bar then another and another and another. The cravings for sweets were back and before I know it I am back to almost where I had started. At this point I want to just throw up my hands and say what the hell. I must had expanded my stomach because not only was I eating sweets I was now eating considerable more than the doctor said would be possible. And I thought I would never have to diet again but far from the truth. With all the expense of surgery and complications had I made an unwise decision, for sure I had not found the answer I was hoping for? Still a struggle, as it had been all my life.

I ran into a cousin that I had not seen in years and we get on the subject of diet. He tells me that his wife and himself are going to Weight Watchers. They go on and on about how well they like the program and entice me to join, so reluctantly I tell them I will give it a try. To my surprise the program works for me and I lose 145 pounds in less than 18 months. They even got me back on my bicycle and we would ride in the park most afternoons. I got so motivated I started walking 1.7 miles in the mornings before work and within 2 months I was walking 3.2 miles every morning. As my weight dropped in the next few months I had started jogging half the mornings and after couple more months I was jogging every morning 3.2 miles and riding the bicycle every afternoon. In less than 18 months I had lost 145 pounds and had gotten in tiptop shape.

I could hardly believe what I was seeing in the mirror. I remember going to buy a few pair of new jeans and holding the jeans up in the dressing room thinking I will never fit

" could that be me in the mirror?"!

into these, but to my amazement a perfect fit. I was the smallest I had been since getting out of the Marine Corp and physically fit. Even out riding most of the people around Danville and South Boston that had been riding bicycles for years. Even so as them to name me the fastest bike rider in Danville and South Boston. Sadly to say I lost my new found self in less than 3 years gaining all the weight back plus more. I had tried Weight Watchers several more times but could not find the magic that was once mine. The sweets and cravings had entrapped me once again seeing no light at the end of the tunnel. As time passes me by my thoughts reflect on my situation, the horror and shame of this incredible sweet tooth of mine. How could I let this happen again? Is there any hope?, maybe I’m just a basket case. Is there an answer to this nightmare?

How much do I want to loose weight and keep it off?

The story goes a young man ask Socrates how he could get wisdom, Socrates replied, “Come with me” He took the lad to a river, pushed the boys head under water, held it there until the boy was gasping for air. When the boy gained his composure he ask him what did you desire most when you were under water. The boy replied, “air”. Socrates told the boy, “When you want wisdom as much as you wanted air when you were immersed in water, you will receive it.

Likewise, when I have an intense desire to loose the weight it’s the first step.

I had tried many times to get back on a diet to only last a few days, the sweets would just drive me crazy. With the many times I have lost the weight, it’s no telling how many failed attempts trying to get motivated but never getting off the ground. But as I was explaining to one of my friends, I can tell when I am going to succeed, it’s just an over whamming desire and everything seems to click. Just as Dr. Dean Ornish’s program, I bought the book when it first came out. I never got off the ground with it before. Wouldn’t it be nice to have an “Easy Button” like on that Staples commercial.

But since making the choice to change my lifestyle I have made it my number one priority and have focused on that in my mind. I also use affirmations bringing myself back to focus and desired goals. One is telling myself “nothing taste as good as slim feels”, another is “telling myself I can do this” and “ I will do this for my health” I often take out the pictures of little over 3 years ago when I was down to 195 pounds, sometimes bringing tears to my eyes, knowing I have tried so hard to get the weight off only to lose all control over the situation and get back to where I am now.

Endless hours on the Internet researching weight loss and obesity. I have even started this website. This has also help me to focus and help me to understand the urgency to get this weight off permanently.

There is no magic pill out there somewhere, no magic diet, no magic surgery? I can’t remember all diets I have tried only to gain the weight back time and time again, even with the two gastric surgeries, gastric stabling in 1981 and a mini gastric bypass in 2000. I have even had success with Watch Watchers; I lost 145 pounds in just over a year. But fell back into my old habits and gained it all back plus about 25 pounds. Even though Weight Watchers doesn’t count calories, they count points. They stress the necessity to weigh or measure all foods.

Another piece of reality I have to face, 97% percent of people that lose weight gain the weight back. And that sure is the fact in my situation. The pure and simple fact is regardless the program I am on, and the reality that I had to face is; calories count. My body is going to store fat if I consume more than it burns. I had to face reality in knowing my body is different from the person that can metabolize fat efficiently, being morbid obese it’s obvious I have an abnormal amount of fat cells and store fat much easier than other people.

I think timing plays an important role when getting started on a program. At this point in time I do not have to deal with any high stress factors and can concentrate /focus on what I need to do. The big changes have paid big dividends the first month, which in it’s self, is a huge motivator. I know the following months will be slower but have a realistic goal of 3 pounds a week on average. My goal is to be 300 pounds by Christmas. Once I get around 250 pounds it will be much slower, my guess 1.5 to 2 pounds per week average.

I kept thinking I’ve got to get back in control, but kept eating the sweets. I bought 5 new pairs of jeans about 8 weeks ago. The other jeans had got rather tight, so I decided to go up one size and I’m talking from a 54” to a 56”. To my surprise, after washing and drying the jeans I went to put on a pair and had to lay down across the bed to zip them up….dang…. something has got to give.

At work the next day I’m cleaning my side desk up, time to throw away some of this junk that’s piling up. I ran across this diet a vendor sent me about 5 years ago, it’s a Joe Dillon program and under that is “Reversing Heart Disease” by Dr. Dean Ornish. The Dillon diet makes a lot of sense I think to myself, no fried foods, no red meats, no sugar, no artificial sweeteners, fat free dairy products, egg whites only or egg beaters, no diet drinks, no caffeine, no alcohol, drink water at least 8 glasses a day. Dr. Dean Ornish’s program steps it up a notch. Of course both stress exercise.

So this is the first time I gave up artificial sweeteners and diet sodas. First time drinking 100% water except for a smoothie I blend for breakfast, which has 2 cups of water, 1 cup of fruit and a scoop of protein powder. I drink a cup and carry the rest with me to work to sip on. I really believe the artificial sweeteners and diet sodas keep the sweet cravings geared up. The diet sodas, think about what they do when you shake them up, I would guess they keep the stomach expanded. I am also trying to stabilize my blood sugar level. On that bases I am eating small meals, at least 6-8 a day and not eating over 1.5 cups of anything at one setting and also staying within the 1400 - 1800 calorie range. That helps the blood sugar level and also gives the stomach a chance to shrink, well that’s my thinking anyway. The one thing that helped me get through the sugar carvings was fat free cottage cheese and pineapple, I found it to be filling and satisfying. Every time I got the sugar craving I would take out the pineapple and cottage cheese. I had never thought of this before and don’t know what gave me the idea this time. It took me 2 weeks to get over the headaches withdrawing from sugar and caffeine.

I have made the choice to eat healthy and exercise learning from past mistakes, not making a permanent change. In Dr. Dean Ornish’s audiotapes “Simple Changes” he speaks on the subject of making changes and the feeling of deprivation. Dr. Ornish believes that conventional wisdom may be need rethinking and changes in lifestyle and diet needs to be rapid rather than slow changes as not to leave you feeling deprived. He continues to explain your palate will change if you remove meat altogether, but if you just cut back and eat less meat, you will continue to have the taste for it. Another good example is skim milk, cutting back and drinking some whole milk and some skim milk. The skim milk never taste good until you stop drinking the whole milk. After getting use to the skim milk and then drinking the whole milk it taste greasy and heavy, the palate changed.

I am finding that to be true in the case of sweets and refined carbohydrates also. Of all the previous times I lost weight only to regain it, my palate never changed. I would use artificial sweeteners that kept my cravings and sweet tooth going. To eliminate all artificial sweeteners including diet soft drinks has made a huge difference in controlling my appetite eliminating cravings, binges, and compulsive over eating. Never before concentrating on my blood sugar level and not understanding how insulin was helping me store fat.

Insulin regulates the blood sugar level and is a powerful fat storing hormone. It converts the excess glucose (blood sugar) into triglycerides (blood fat) and stores this fat in your fat cells. Processed/refined carbohydrates trigger the release of an excessive amount of insulin because they breakdown to quickly and raise your blood sugar to fast. This causes a drastic drop in your blood sugar leaving you with low blood sugar leading to cravings, binges, and compulsive over eating. This spike and crash leaves you fat, tired, and hungry. A few examples would be cakes, cookies, candy, all sugars and foods with high sugar content, white rice, sugar filled cereals, and any food that has white flour in it. So with the insulin factor you get a triple whammy: (1) I already store fat easily with the abnormal number of fat cells (2) Lots of processed carbohydrates the insulin factor is helping to store fat, (3) the processed carbohydrates are high in calorie and fat.

Will I get the weight off this time and also keep it off? Time will tell the story of success or failure.

To Be Continued!